Child Protection Services and Department of Human Services (A Broken System Part Duex)

I have wondered for a long time... why is it that children are taken away from good families all the time and yet the people who are actually beating children bloody- breaking bones- raping them- those are the people who are allowed to keep their children?

When I was a teenager I was placed in a foster home.  I do not know what agency ran it. It was a long time ago.  My foster parents were church going people.  They were farmers and all in all decent people.  HOWEVER, they did employ a hired hand.  I was 15- he had the bedroom upstairs next to mine, and he was on his own account a child molester.  He bragged to me many times in the barn about sleeping with the other girls that had been before me.  Being afraid of my stern foster parents, I said nothing.  I should have said something.  Had my mother not raised me with a half a brain- I probably would have been his next victim.  I instead locked my door each night and pretended I was asleep when he knocked in the early morning hours.

My own daughter is now looking at possible foster care.  This terrifies me greatly.  This puts her deeper into a system that I believe is undeniably BROKEN.  Who will protect her if I am not there?  She is only a child- not even a teenager as I was.

I have seen CPS/DHS take children away from good parents.  I have seen abusers have their children returned to them time and again.  I know of children personally who were potty trained when they were taken by CPS and returned with issues as if they had never been trained at all... some of them were over the age of 8.

My children are blond hair and blue eyes... according this article the most sought after children by CPS to take are.
http://techiesgofarming.org/2013/04/27/children-being-kidnapped-by-cps-for-adoption-bonus-money/

Sites like this make me sick... it's like looking at a mall for a new shirt... only it's kids.  What I want you to notice is this is another site entirely- this one "advertising children".  Please notice that children are listed as Caucasian.  But if they have blond hair and blue eyes- that is noted... so do the other children have green eyes and dark hair?  I think this just reinforces that our blond hair and blue eye babies are more desirable and salable to CPS/DHS
https://sites.google.com/a/fcjfs.org/fcjfs/waiting-children


CPS a friend of the court not the family.  The sound is not great... but I think it gets the point across well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arVPZHgTcmA

Valley News Live... My thoughts this evening.

Valley News Live Posted this on their Facebook page today.

http://www.valleynewslive.com/story/24568086/buried-fire-hydrants-are-a-real-concern-for-local-fire-departments

I was reading a lot of the comments... and I was surprised by how many took a complacent attitude about the fire hydrants in Fargo-Moorhead being buried by snow.

Has society really become so lazy that they just "expect" someone else should take care of it?
Has society really become so self-entitled they can really believe it's not their problem?

This is a terrifying thought to me!

Some said that "prisoners should do it."

Prisoners could do it- I suppose....

But do you realize if it's in your yard in the summer- it's your job to mow around it too... so perhaps this job lands on the homeowners living on that lot???? 

I also think the response of, "it's the city's job....." is ridiculous.

As far as it being the city's job.. seriously- they don't mow the boulevard in front of your home- in fact they (the city workers) bury it in snow every winter too..... if you want it beautified or useful... you do it. 

The fire hydrant problem could also be solved on a rotation basis between all neighbors in a 6 house circumference?

I for one can't afford to take a $150,000 loss on my home (not to mention my family's belongings) just because, "the city should take care of it."

So I dig out the one closest to my home regularly, much to the chagrin of the homeowner on that lot- they DO NOT like me walking along "their yard" to shovel it out.  I like to think that IF their home should ever catch on fire- that they will appreciate the work- albeit too late.

But you know shoveling it out isn't the only problem... they also tend to freeze closed... I can't imagine worse than your house being on fire- the firefighters waste precious time shoveling it out... find out it's frozen and have to shovel out the next closest one too BEFORE they can ever get to your home.... take the preventative measure... clear out the one closest to you.

In our area- we tend to be very cold... and this year- about 6 blizzards in as many weeks with up to -60 windchill temps.... I don't blame the fire department for not wanting to shovel in that- and if you feel it's their job- perhaps they feel like you should put out your own fire.... and they won't have to freeze.  I bet you don't like that option now do you?

Social Services/Child Protective Services, The System is Broken.

I believe that Social Services intervenes in many families’ lives when they were not needed.  I believe that Social Services are ruining our children, some emotionally, some behaviorally.  I believe the system meant to protect our children is broken.  Parents are afraid of CPS, either from personal experience, or some just from hearing what may happen to their children. Child Protective Services ^(UNKNOWN) (CPS) is the name of a governmental agency in many states of the United States that responds to reports of child abuse or neglect. CPS does not always look or even care about the truth.  A simple error in someone else’s judgment can cost your/our children the future they deserve...

Here to Keep Families Intact? What a Joke.

Chip ^(Forrester), a worker for CPS in North Dakota says, “that they are here to keep families intact.”  I say they are wrong.  I believe the same as Brenda Scott ^(UNKNOWN), who wrote a book criticizing Social Services and CPS.  She is quoted as saying, “At the core of the problem is the antifamily mindset of CPS."   Meet Mike and Liz.  Mike and Liz were a couple with two children.  During their marriage there was a lot of arguing between themselves and rivalry between the children which resulted in CPS being involved.  The first step they took was to get the Mike and Liz involved in couple’s counseling with separate counselors whom CPS had chosen.  Mike decided not to go to his own, saying that, “it was between him and his wife, and not the government’s business ^{(M. Augustine)}.”  This quote led to Liz’s counselor telling her she ‘needed a divorce’.   Our couple had never been violent towards each other or the children, just verbal disagreements which probably could have been solved between just the two of them.  Very soon at the insistence of Liz’s ^{(L. Augustine)} counselor, a divorce was filed.  Liz won custody of the two children.  But, the children still had arguments, and again CPS was involved.  Their decision was to separate the children.  One at one parent’s home: and one at the other parent’s home.  Later as the daughter turned into a teenager, CPS again stepped in and their first course of action was to send her into a group home, and then a foster home.  I notice that a counselor was never encouraged in the instances of the children.  I also notice that the couple was not told they could select their own.  By all appearances, CPS wanted to break apart this family.  They succeeded.  As adults, the children hardly speak to each other as communication was never encouraged, complete separation was.  These children as adults bear the emotional scars given to them by the destruction of their family.  Had CPS not intervened, this family may have been able to seek out their own counselors that did not report to CPS, or even resolve the issues on their own.

Good Parents Lose Children for Unfounded Reasons

Chip ^(Forrester), a worker for CPS, also told me that, “We here at CPS do not want to remove children from the home; we do everything in our power to not have to do that.”  Brenda Scott¹, is also quoted as saying, “Removal is the first resort, not the last.”  Parents have their children taken away all the time for trying to do the RIGHT things.  One family lost their children after realizing their child might have eaten something poisonus. ^(Hemmat)   This family called poison control and did everything right in order to ensure their child’s health and future.  But Social Services wrongfully removed the child because they “suspected” abuse.  So based on the actions of Social Services, a person can infer that calling poison control was the wrong thing to do?  Let’s take the case of Tonya Follingstad ^{(Follingstad)}, wife and mother of four beautiful children, and my neighbor.  According to Tonya, she had a very serious illness and was unable to take care of her children, so her mother took the children in for a month and would return the children upon Tonya’s health improving.  Tonya’s mother only lived a couple of blocks away, so they would still be close, could still go to school regularly, and would be with family.  Within a couple of weeks, Child Protective Services had removed the children from Tonya’s mother’s home, and kept the children in their care for the following 4 months.  What was their reasoning?   They had decided Tonya was guilty of Child Neglect and Abandonment.  Neglect ^{(Definitions of Child Abuse and Neglect: Summary of State Laws, 2009)} is defined as “the failure of a parent or other person with responsibility for the child to provide needed food, clothing, shelter, medical care, or supervision such that the child's health, safety, and well-being are threatened with harm.”  Were the children in danger of any of these?  No, Tonya had made sure they were provided for.  Abandonment ^{(Definitions of Child Abuse and Neglect: Summary of State Laws, 2009)} is defined as “when the parent's identity or whereabouts are unknown, the child has been left by the parent in circumstances in which the child suffers serious harm, or the parent has failed to maintain contact with the child or to provide reasonable support for a specified period of time.”  This was not the case either.  Her whereabouts were very well known, the kids were safe, and she contacted her children daily.  She missed them, but though she was doing the best thing she could until she was healthy again.  Is it fair to say she neglected and abandoned her children?  No.  I firmly believe that placing her children with their Grandmother was the best thing for them.  That these definitions in absolutely no way describe what happened to those children by being placed with their Grandmother.  Yet, Social Services chose to label Tonya ^{(Follingstad)} as an unfit parent, seemingly with no regard to their own definitions!  In yet another instance for poor Tonya, while cleaning one day, her vacuum bag exploded which filled the room with dirt; even her clean clothes laid out on the couch to be put away (which was the children’s chore) were covered.  Just as she was trying to figure out how to clean up the mess, her doorbell rang.  Surprise!  CPS had decided to give her an inspection with no notice.  So her house is a mess, and they threaten to again take the children for her neglecting them.  I think just about every mother out there has had this or some similar situation happen, minus the CPS inspection.  I don’t think it makes us bad parents.  Now let’s talk about my personal ^{(A. Sather)} experience.  My daughter doesn’t like time-outs.  My daughter doesn’t like to be told to clean her room on a weekly basis.  My daughter treats my wife like she is in charge. Beyond what might be considered normal behavior for a seven year old.  She is telling my wife and I how to do everything daily, nagging my wife about things that didn’t get done (like that load of laundry she forgot while making our daughter lunch), she screams at my wife nearly all day and every conversation between them winds up in a screaming match as my wife (and sometimes myself too) try to maintain the fact that we are in charge.  Our daughter, she doesn’t like being told, “you are a child, worry about being a child, let us be the grownups.  WE are in charge, not you.”  So in order to get even she tells us one day she doesn’t want to live with us anymore.  We think nothing of it.  She’s seven, what does she know?  Apparently she knows to tell a teacher or a counselor that her parents are “mean” and that’s all they need to hear.  Soon, CPS is knocking on our door and telling us we need counseling or we can lose our children.  I bet you didn’t know that telling your children to do chores or that disrespecting adults was wrong is also considered abuse did you?  We didn’t.  It took 90 days of counseling and 3 court dates to resolve our situation.   And yet even as a dismissed case, it’s recorded permanently that we were once ‘charged’ with child abuse.  This will follow us around forever.  With absolutely no evidence, they could take our children. 

Children Control the Parents

Chip Forrester (Redacted) with CPS says, “Children are sweet and innocent.   They don’t know anything about blackmail.  Out of the mouths of babes, will always come the truth.”  This one makes me laugh.  Children lie, we all know it, and we all did it.  It’s just a fact of life.  But what happens if they lie to CPS, what really, can we do about it?  After all, a teenager makes a better liar then a 7 year old.  They now know to get a bruise.  Teenagers like power, and what better way than to blackmail your parents with threats to call the police and CPS?   There is no system of checks and balances within CPS, and time and time again- parents lose their children with little or absolutely no evidence.    My wife, Amber, talks about how she manipulated the system easily when she was only 13.  “My parents always put me in the middle of their divorce.  Checking up on each other through me.  I wanted out.  So one night, I snuck out of the house.  My mom called the police, and they found me hanging out at a friend’s.  They took me to the Juvenile Detention Center with a court date in the morning for a charge of,’ insubordination’.  When I got to court I begged them not to send me home with my mom, claimed she was physically abusive.  During my parent’s divorce she filed paperwork that said my Dad was emotionally abusive, so that part was done for me.  They sent me back to the Detention Center for a couple more weeks, the next court date I still refused to go home, so I went to a group home, another court date, a foster home, etc. etc. etc.  After a few years I was 17 and they had no programs run by the state left.  So I was sent back to my parent just shy of my 18^th birthday.  I was a lucky one, I wound up in nice places, some kids don’t.  But if you don’t want to be at home, it’s easy enough not to be.  Any smart teen could do it.” ^(Sather)

 Parents everywhere are not spanking their children.  Most for fear of being considered an abuser, either by themselves, their children, or in the eyes of CPS.  I asked my daughter’s counselor what she would suggest since spankings are not recommended by her or by CPS.  She ^(Mendel) said that, “rather than spank them, you should reason with them.”  Have you ever tried to reason with a 3 year old who is clinging to a park swing refusing to leave?  It doesn’t matter what you say- this child is NOT going to listen.  You have a very important meeting in 10 minutes?  You had better reschedule, because you need at least an hour to try to explain to this 3 year old that you understand how they feel, but you have to leave the park now.  This 3 year old who has a death grip on a steel pole swing set leg, this three year old who is screaming.  In the eyes of CPS it would be abuse to un-wrap their arms and carry them to the car.  So in the end, by throwing their tantrum, they won.  This child got to stay at the park.  When I asked The Pastor ^(Nielson)at my church what he thought about this reasoning with a child method, he gave me only one sentence.  He told me, “God says, ‘spare the rod, spoil the child.’” Apparently even God knows that occasionally a child needs a love tap on the bottom.  Here’s another example, when we were kids if we threw a tantrum in the store we were at risk get taken to the car and spanked.  We are no worse for the sore bottoms.   Today if someone should see you, they might very well call CPS, and you lose your child for teaching them that a public tantrum wasn’t ok.   So parents today are choosing instead to do nothing, which resolves….nothing.  {In 2007, only 7% of reports of child abuse were reported anonymously. ^{(Vincent Iannelli)}} Very young children are taught to report child abuse.  I think they are taught at too young of an age.  They are taught to tell a teacher, tell someone.  {In 2007, 57% of reports of child abuse came from teachers, lawyers, police, and social workers. ^{(Vincent Iannelli)}} Unfortunately, they are not also told just what abuse is nor are they old enough to understand the differences between discipline and a beating.  This leads to many children being removed from the home, because a child cannot understand the difference between a spanking and a beating.  A child cannot grasp the concept that not getting their way isn’t necessarily child abuse.  That they are not the only child told to clean their room or has chores. And since CPS believes the child’s needs come first, and don’t ask the parents what’s going on, (because after all, only adults lie right?) children can manipulate the system with ease. These children are going to grow up with no boundaries, knowing they can manipulate their way out.  These children are behaviorally damaged by the over-involvement of CPS.

We go back here to Brenda Scott ^(UNKNOWN) again who also said, “with insufficient checks and balances, the system that was designed to protect children has become the greatest perpetrator of harm.” The system designed to take children from the true abusers, takes children from good parents.  The system designed to keep families together and provide help to parents who need it, tears them apart. The system that should want the truth or to search for proof; doesn’t always look for it.  Our children are suffering, and so is our future. I believe that parents live in fear of how to raise their children in a world that uses CPS.  I believe that Social Services and CPS are ruining our children, some emotionally, some behaviorally.  The system is broken.

I am way toooo tired this evening to show you all the proper documentation of my research regarding this topic, however if  you wish to challenge me, I will dig it out.  Nighty Night hope you enjoyed my rant!

Weary Worker Wavers While Walking

Sleep beckons the weary soul,

while the pillow cries out my name in it's entirety...

the softness of the blankets beckon,

as the dreams start drifting through the mind's eye.....

Am I Just Too Old?

  I have been raised to believe that a woman should never admit her age.  In today's society though, that doesn't seem to matter.  Everyone is made of plastic anyways.  I read an article recently that stated girls as young as 13 years old are having plastic surgery.

  Well here it is, I am 27.  But I am far from your normal 27 year old.  The average 27 year old girl is caught up in drinking, partying, very few are like me with a husband and kids.  And out of that few, I believe myself to be truly unique.  I crochet blankets, baby items, potholders for our home, I have sewn all the curtains in our home, I cook all the meals, and when my children rip their clothes, I do not simply throw them away, I repair them.  I have even once in a while performed what my daughter calls surgery.  When a stuffed animal has a ripped seam, I repair them while she holds their paw to comfort them.  Little did I know when my mother taught me to sew, that I would become a stuffed animal surgeon in the future.  I learned to crochet from my grandmother.  My father liked silent movies.  I am the only 27 year old I have ever known who watches silent films, and can even name all FOUR (yes there were 4) of the Marx Brothers.  Even with the help of Bugs Bunny Cartoons most people my age are hard-pressed to name Groucho Marx.  It seems that girls my age are only interesed in drinking and partying.  The only ones I know who are remotely interested in family values are the ones who (gasp) got pregnant outside of marraige.
 
  Like me, my husband is also a bit of an oddball.  Looking around, all the 30 year olds we know wish to do nothing more then play video games, and work a part time job.  But he searches for work that supplies benefits,  even such a thing as a union.  (I am absolutely amazed at how little people know about what a union really is!)  He's a mechanic as a hobby, he's a great handyman, he did the electrical in our home, he bakes, and he cleans.  What's more is he believes that I should be an at home wife.

  It seems that in today's society, old fashioned values and common courtesy is dead.  But even more so then that is the ability to take care of one's self.  To do your own repairs, and to be home with your family.  Are we just too old for the times?  What happened to learning something from your family, a hobby, a skill, even knowledge?

The Death of the English Language

LOL
ROFL
ROFLMAO
BRB
G2G

And so many more....

It's hard to recognize the English language anymore.  Not only has "Geek Speak" taken over, but because of it, hardly anyone can spell a darned thing.

The English language is on a respirator people!  What hasn't been killed by "Geek Speak", is being maimed by the people who no longer no how to form a sentence without cursing.  Here are just a few words that used to be perfectly clean but no longer are:

Bitch:  Female Dog
Cock:  A Male Rooster
Dork:  A whale's penis

The worst part is, our children do not feel any pride in their education!  They do not care to learn how to spell, they know nothing of grammar, and they don't feel that they can defend themselves verbally without entering into a cursing contest.

Here's an example of what I mean, the following is a word for word copy of a literary conversation held between two people that truly happened.
Jon H  This lady is a horder!
Jon H the lady we bought a sowing mechin from

The A hoarder, sewing, machine.

Jon H what ever u probly had to use a dictionary

The A no Jonny, there are some of us who can spell. I am one of them. I can spell things that aren't in the dictionary (not the English one anyways) too. I speak a little Latin, and a little Spanish. I am just a good speller, and if you worked on it you could be too. :)

Jon H liar u dont know how to spell horder i got it from microsoft word so im right not harder with a o and like am the same age as u ur like 30 so just beacuse u look up words in the dictionary dosent make u a genious and beacuse i didnt spell it right u dont have to rub it in my face!!!

The A Hoarder.... Microsoft can't spell everything....

Jon H whatever... i dont argue with people that are 3 times my age

The A Quit being lazy and get a dictionary... nevermind since you are being a snot and assuming you know more then I here is the dictionary spelling AND definition.

hoard /hɔrd, hoʊrd/ Show Spelled
[hawrd, hohrd] 
–noun
...1. a supply or accumulation that is hidden or carefully guarded for preservation, future use, etc.: a vast hoard of silver.
–verb (used with object)
2. to accumulate for preservation, future use, etc., in a hidden or carefully guarded place: to hoard food during a shortage.
–verb (used without object)
3. to accumulate money, food, or the like, in a hidden or carefully guarded place for preservation, future use, etc.

Hoarder: noun
un·hoard·ed, adjective 
—Can be confused: hoard, horde.

Me A You'll see at the bottom Horde, can be confused with the word you were trying Microsoft Microsoft made a mistake, it can not spell everything.Are you done being a snot to the person who was trying to help you now? Or shall I give you more and BETTER references then to trust spellcheck?

Jon H wow ur real cool... and at least im not 30 and go around calling people snots way to be metchoure

The A I am not thirty either, and it is mature.

The A Which I could spell at SEVEN so how about taking some pride in your education and learning something? You go to school, pay attention.

Jon H oooh u got me

The A  I think you had best go and study now.... those video games truly are rotting your little brain.... now I do love you cousin, but sometimes you can be pretty thick.

Jon H oooh ur cool do u need to pick on people that are 3 times younger just shut up and quit posting on my wall

The A I am not picking on you, simply correcting your spelling. Ok maybe I picked on you a little, but really Jonny, you are on a computer with a FREE online dictionary, and you still thought you could use spellcheck? It can't even tell when a person uses the wrong form of too/two/to. It will tell you that it was spelled correctly, even if it is the wrong word. If you learned anything here, I hope it was to use your head or get a dictionary, don't trust spellcheck.

Jon H i told u to just shut up and quit posting on my wall

The A Yes Jonny, those who can spell well, can also read. I ignored you. You like to point out that I am older then you, well listen to your elders and remember we don't have to listen to you. But I do have better things to do with my time, so adios!

Jon H i told u to just shut up and quit posting on my wall wow u idiot stop means no more type on jons wall

The A You do know you would sound smarter if you could spell. And I did stop posting until this "idiot" remark. But as long as I am here, there are many, many other spelling errors I left unmentioned. I never commented at all to argue with you. Only to point out your errors so that you may learn something. But I see learning is not one of your abilities.

Jon H i dont want to learn something i want u to quit posting on my wall. qll my friends are going to be like whos the faggot who keeps posting on your wall

The A Why do you even bother to post the word "faggot"? Not only is it rude and obnoxious, but why would or should I care what your friends think? If you really wanted me to stop, you would quit attacking a person so that they don't feel an urge to defend themselves. And like I said before, clearly you don't want to learn.

Jon H i dont u just get so much from makeing fun of me so quit dont post more just stop

The A Now since you have affirmed my belief that the real reason you want me to stop posting is because I can prove you wrong at every turn without resorting to swearing, I will leave. But you get one more lesson. Advance your vocabulary beyond swearing and you will sound smarter and have earned much more respect. You don't sound like a bada$$ just a dumba$$.

While I will admit the above conversation is a bit petty, it does prove my point well.  He is 11 years old.  I am late 20's.  He cares nothing that he butchers the English language, and there is nothing that frustrates me more then bad spelling and then to defend yourself using insults that really, just don't apply. 

Please people let's get the English Language off the respirator and show the importance of good grammar.

Introducing Me

I won't bore you with all the details.  My name? It's unimportant.  You'll know me as A.  As long as you read, you will be just as lost in my random thoughts and stories as I am.

"I'm sorry, my train of thought left me at the station, holding my bags." ~A.